Some days, it seems all that I hear from people is “I can’t” or “We can’t”. It really gets old hearing others tell me what their self-imposed limits are.
Stop telling me what you can’t do! Start telling me what you CAN do!
So here is another post on your mindset and how you think.
Maybe more so on how I think and what I’m doing to change it.
We’ve all heard the phrase “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”.
If you’ve ever read many positive thinking books, I’m sure you have.
This post deals directly with this mentality.
I used to be really focused on fear.
What do I mean by that?
Every success I’ve ever had I owed directly to “fear of failure” or “fear of someone else’s opinion”.
Essentially I would succeed in an endeavor by saying things in my head like:
- “Man, what will my boss think if I can’t pull this off!”
- “I’ll get fired if I don’t accomplish __________.”
- “I can’t handle feeling inferior!”
- “I really need the income..”
- “How will I pay my bills if I don’t have the steady income?”
- “My wife will be so disappointed in me.”
- “I’ve always been the fat guy. Losing weight is just too hard.”
- “I just don’t have the talent.”
…and on and on and on.
You’ll notice heavy use of the words, “Can’t”, “What If”, “Need”, “How” and some form of “What will they think?”.
All of these questions have negative tones behind them.
So the driving force behind me was always some form of fear. This created some impending doom, anxiety based thought process that really destroyed me on the inside. It became an all-consuming fear that it would keep me awake at night.
I had to do something with it! Bringing yourself out of the dark requires some light, right?
Let’s take these thoughts and put them in a different light…
How would I feel if I thought these thoughts instead?
- “I want to succeed at ___________.”
- “My wife will be proud of me!”
- “My accolades will come.”
- “I know how to generate income, so why worry about it?”
- “I put my pants on the same way the other guy does. One leg at a time!”
- “If that Subway putz can do it, so can I!”
- “People have had greater success than I with half the skill. It’s my turn!”
- “I can do anything I want to do!”
Note the different feel?
This type of thinking eliminates the anxiety and fear based worry I used to experience at 2 a.m. every morning.
So, how do you change?
Step One: Change Your Focus
Just like the lens on a camera, sometimes you need to dial in a little closer on yourself and your thought processes. Take a break in your busy life and spend some time finding out who you really are. Start asking yourself questions.
The best questions are those that are really hard and don’t seem to have answers.
You need to block some time for yourself to find out who you really are and what you really want in life. If these don’t line up, you might really struggle with being confident and happy in your endeavors.
Step Two: Change Your Words
I’ve covered this in earlier posts, but I definitely believe its worth repeating!
If you have a vocabulary that includes the following, you might just be heading down the wrong path.
- I Can’t
- I Don’t Know
- But What If?
- What Will They Say?
- I’m Afraid That…
- I Will Lose My Security…
Start swapping the words in your mind and mouth with ones that translate to a more positive light.
- I Can.
- I Can Learn!
- No “Buts”! Just do..
- I fear no man’s opinion.
- I trust my instincts!
- I believe in myself!
Step Three: Conscious Effort
This is where the rubber meets the road. Just like any other habit you want to create or cease, it takes daily effort.
So, pen some positive words that you can repeat to yourself. Out loud if possible, but quietly if you feel uncomfortable.
Take this challenege to heart for 30 days.
Similar to the instructions on your shampoo bottle…
Change Your Focus. Change Your Words. Repeat.
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