Oh Bother…

In the words of my wife’s favorite cartoon, “Oh bother…”.

Here is today’s lesson for me.

Worry will destroy you!

The incessant fear of “Whatever” is a mind-numbing and soul-sucking experience.

I’ve lived with this demon for many years.  Until recently, it has haunted me to the point of sleeplessness.  I would wake up at 3 in the morning, heart racing thinking crazy thoughts:

• How am I going to pay that bill?
• What about that client at work? 
• Is my wife happy with me?
• What about that guy at work that never shows up?
• My bank account sure seems low…  I hate it when it gets that low…
• What will THEY think?

There are hundreds more thoughts just like these.  They come creeping in without a care in the world, like an endless string of twisted Christmas lights, covered in broken bulbs.  They continue to build on themselves, one right after the other cutting as you work your way through them.

In my case, they always seem to start out with worry over money.  I have always related my success in this world with my net worth.  So if my bank accounts get low, so slides my self-esteem.  How sad, looking back, how hindered I’ve been.

Some say it is hereditary.  My mom is / was the biggest worry-bug in the world.  My brother has a touch of it, too.  So what is one to do with this disease in the genes?  Or is it just taught?

I believe it’s learned!

Break the mental cycle!

Write these questions down:

• What in my life now makes me happy?
• What am I grateful for in my life, right now?
• Who loves me?  Who do I love?
• What am I proud of in my life right now?
• What am I excited about in my life right now?

Now, after each question, start writing in some answers.  They might be small to you at first.  But answer them none the less.  Keep this list of questions and answers handy.  Keep it nearby.  When that quiet little voice starts with the “What if’s” and “You can’t really’s”, break out and review the list.  Read it out loud if you can.  Understand that things aren’t always that bad.

If they really do seem that bad, then you need to connect with someone to help.

More on Connecting in the next post….