So I’m sitting down in front of the computer, clicking on my daily To-Do list.
Gym? Check…
Read? Check…
Well.. Sort of. I mean, that little handful of M&M’s doesn’t really effect me too much… I won’t count them.
Oh, and I didn’t call the kids like I should. But I was busy. Life gets away sometimes. I guess if they really wanted to talk to me, they’d call, right?
And if I really have had a long day, and I didn’t really spend a whole lot of time talking to Candi, just sitting next to her on the couch speechless counts as quality time, right?
I know last Thursday, I hit my goal weight! Yay me! However, Friday and Saturday I at more garbage than Oscar the Grouch. I’ll report the 185 lbs. But I might skip the scales for a few days. And think I’m still at 185…
WRONG!
I got so pissed at myself today. I mean, this crap you just read is exactly some of the thoughts I’ve allowed into my mind. So what good is it to have these lofty goals and objectives each day if I am going to lie my way out of them?
I know I am not the only person that does this to themselves. I call it the “Settling For Mentality”. You get yourself comfortable with the idea that you can’t, or won’t, be honest with yourself. Being that honest can be too painful. And God forbid you look bad in front of others. Who’s ego can take that?
There is this overwhelming guilt that comes up from within that whispers in your ear and lets you know that you aren’t being quite honest. Then it starts to convince you that it’s really ok.
Then the voice shifts…
“You should feel like crap. What a failure you are. What kind of person would be so misleading. You should just quit and save yourself the hassle.”
Have you hit a wall like this?
Let me tell you two things…
Succeeding in your goals feels amazing!
Succeeding while being honest with yourself feels even better!
I’ve found that lying to yourself puts you in dead end relationships, ties up your finances, gives you less care for your health and just an overall feeling of self-loathing.
I’ve found that being true to yourself is liberating, puts your heart in the hands of those you care about, fixes your self-esteem issues and allows you to be open and honest about who you are and how you want others to see you.
All in all, I’ve learned this lesson over the last few years. I’ve corrected my behavior. I’ve learned from my mistakes.
And it pissed my off that I let some of this garbage back in.
Just preaching to myself, ladies and gents. Just preaching to myself.
Be true to yourself, then you can be yourself to the world…
I look forward to seeing that.
~Uppie
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