Painting By The Numbers

Did you ever play with one of those “Paint By The Numbers” kits as a child?  Actually used a brush and not some “Program” on your PC?

Didn’t we all?

My first one I remember quite well.  It’s not everyday that you can forget a velvet portrait of the movie poster for “Star Wars”.  Yeah, it was on the big screen when I was little.  Yeah, it was really velvet.  Hey, at least it wasn’t Elvis, framed and on the wall behind the couch.

Back to the story…

It was really a nice picture.  Each color had a number.  You would paint all of the 1’s with a specific color.  Then on to the 2’s.  Then the 3’s.  Until the picture becomes extremely colorful and you can actually tell what it’s supposed to look like.

People in your life are like the paint.  The each fill a number…  Let’s use 1-6 as an example.

You have specific needs in your life:

Certainty

Uncertainty

Significance

Love And Connection

Growth

Contribution

These six needs were borrowed from one of the masters in personal growth, Tony Robbins.

Essentially we have all of these needs in our lives.  We all need some certainty, or security.  But that can become stale.  So you need some uncertainty to give you that “on the edge” feel, right?  You need to feel like your life matters.  You need to feel loved and connected to another.  If you aren’t growing, you get bored.  And you need to feel like you are making a contribution to something bigger.

The people, or “Paint”, that we have in our lives fills our needs.

Some of us, like myself, find my six needs met in one person.  Candi is an amazing creature that gives life to all of my needs.  Without question, I am extremely lucky to be married to her.

But not everyone is that fortunate.

Some of us find our needs met by many different people.  Parents may provide “Significance”.  A spouse my give you the “Love and Connection” you need.

The catch?

In order to meet your needs, you need to allow others into your life.  Openly.

Over my formidable years, I became really good and keeping things inside.  Not sure why I did that.  Still good at doing it at times.  Usually if it’s something that is painful, we have the tendency to ignore it, hoping that it’ll go away.  If it is something that is humiliating, cover it up.  I would just let it rest.

The “Walls Of Jericho” had nothing on me.

My wife and I decided that keeping these evils within us was harmful to our lives.  Becoming these shadows of what we could be.  Wearing the masks, if you will.

Becoming transparent with someone, or with many someone’s, will help open up portals in your life to let these needs meeting people flow in.

Make connections.  Don’t fear being yourself.  Allow the world in.  Sometimes it’ll backfire.  Just accept it and move on.

But if you continue to hide, it’ll be twice as difficult to get your basic emotional needs met.

So reflect on the needs and see what you feel you are lacking.

When you meet someone else today, think to yourself “I wonder what they are lacking?”.

Contribute to someone else’s life today.

~Uppie