Reflecting back over some comments, suggestions and ideas presented by some of you, I felt pressed to offer a bit of 
insight into myself before this blog continues any further.
I started ericupton.com as a novel idea about sharing a bit of my struggle, my journey and my successes with you.
Not because I think I’m special or deserving. Not because I want to pat myself on the back. Simply because deep down inside I know what it’s like to be down. To be defeated in my finances, my health, my weight, my addictions, my relationships… Down in my life as a whole.
Then to come charging back when everyone counted me out.
The process started about 5 years ago.
Turn back the hands of time…
I started the process of change within myself. Turned out I wasn’t happy in the marriage I was in. So I ended it. Did I divorce and break that bond in the right way? Nope. But it had to be done. It caused a significant amount of pain at the time. Three wonderful children were in the midst of it all. But I wasn’t doing anyone any good by staying. Being resentful and tired made me a bad husband, a bad parent and just an overall poor excuse for a human being.
I’m now married to the love of my life who has supported me through everything. Candi has put up with a lot from me. She’s propped me up when I fell. She’s listened when I rambled. She held me close when I cried. She laughed when I fell again. She does have a twisted sense of humor that I love. She also smiled when I laughed.
My soul mate, without question.
To answer the marriage question… That part of my life is now fixed.
Then I started to deal with my insecurities. My weight in particular.
You’ve read the stories about me always being the “big guy” or the “fat kid” all of my life. I was getting really kind of tired of it. My weight was at the helm of my inferiority feelings. I always felt self-conscious. I dressed accordingly to cover the fat me. I cracked jokes at myself to make others embrace me a bit more. Inside, I was a wreck. Embarrassed and depressed.
I weighed in at 317 lbs in August of 2007. As of today I am at 182 lbs. So, how does it feel to lose 135 lbs?
Freaking amazing!
During the time I started losing weight, I was also a pack-and-a-half-a-day smoker. The new found strength I generated from losing weight found a new focus. I consulted a physician friend of mine who guided me to Chantix. It’s a drug that you can take to help curb the “need” for nicotine. I took two packs of Winston 100’s, cut them in half with some scissors and threw them away. That was 540 days ago. (Yes, I’m counting).
So, after I quit smoking, things on the job front got shaky. I sure was jonesing for the cigarettes at this point.
Candi and I both worked for the same dealer in Arkansas. It became painfully evident that his business was dwindling. You could really tell that by the number of pay cuts everyone was taking. Mine was about 25% in one fell shot. That was like a shot of a cannon over the bow. So, we did what we needed to do to secure our future and moved to Shreveport to follow new jobs.
The move caused some serious strains on us as a couple in the beginning. I miss my kids dearly. Candi had her babies to deal with too. Separation and change was everywhere. It taught me to be more dependant on my wife. It also taught me that home is where the heart is. Uncomfortable for sure. But made us stronger in the long run.
Candi landed a great job right of the bat. Mine, however was about an hour west of where we lived. Got really tired of the 2 hours of commuting a day. After 3 months of that, I found a job within 5 minutes of home. That was really nice. But it turned out that job wasn’t for me.
As providence would have it, the job I have now came out of nowhere. It gave me a sense of security I hadn’t had financially in quite some time. A stable company who has things together and conducts business in the way a dealership should. I am proud to say I work for Landers Dodge.
During that last year of job transition, Candi and I also still had a house in Arkansas for sale. Two mortgage payments over a years time made for some interesting discussions and challenges. But we made it through that too. We were made stronger for it I think.
So after gaining a new body, a new sense of healthy living, a new job, a new town, a wonderful wife and a new perspective on life, I continue to work on the areas I feel I want to improve.
So you wonder “Why the hell should I care?”.
You shouldn’t care unless you can relate to some of my life…
Hence this blog has two messages:
1) If you are down, there is hope.
2) If you are down, I know what it’s like and I believe in you can make it.
Simply put, all I am doing is making myself accountable to the world by putting up my ambitions and goals for you to see.
I am also offering help through hope.
If this fool can make it through, so can you!
The resilience of the human spirit is amazing to me. To watch anyone fight life and win is a hero in my book.
This blog is for the underdog.
I was one.
Emphasis on “was”…
~Uppie
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