That’s the question.
But first, here’s the definition, courtesy of Dictionary.com:
for·give
–verb (used with object)
1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to grant pardon to (a person).
4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies.
5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.
That’s a deep subject, forgiveness.
It’s really hard to imagine to offer forgiveness when it comes these two areas of life:
1. From within;
2. From without.
Some would say that forgiving others for their “sins” is the hardest.
I know some people who have been harmed, injured, insulted on or downright damaged at the hands of another. From those who have been violated, murdered and robbed, it’s hard to look at your offender and honestly let go.
How do you forgive someone who causes that kind of harm and generates so much hate?
Some would say forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do.
I have done many things over the years that I would imagine no one could forgive me for. I’m not going in to great detail about some of these things in my past. Mostly because they create some form of shame, and I ain’t particularly all that proud of them.
So how can I forgive myself when I believe that others can’t forgive me?
How can I forgive someone else when I’m pretty sure they don’t deserve it?
Here’s what I know:
If you are starting a new life, today has to be the first day of it. No baggage can be carried forward. You cannot continue to be held by guilt.
If you harbor malice toward another, even if it is justified in your heart, you’ve got to settle that some how. The longer you hold on to it, the more it holds on to you. How much more control can you afford to give?
On the other side of the coin, how can you expect to live a life constantly punishing yourself for something you wish you hadn’t done? It’s time to seek that forgiveness if you have to. If you can’t, you’ve got to let it go.
In some cases, time can be the only healer. Loss and pain does fade. Forgiving will enhance the recovery process.
I’m not taking the horrible actions of this world for granted. There are things out there in this world that I could not possibly imagine going through. In no way am I making light of anyone’s situation.
If you are the one who has done harm, learn from your mistakes, or the mistakes of others. Don’t let history repeat if it’s that negative.
If harm’s been done to you? Reach out to someone to help you heal. You’ll be surprised the amount of love that really does exist in this cold, cruel world.
In order for you to move on, the slate has to be clear.
DISCLAIMER: It Ain’t Easy!
Whether that’s a conversation between you and your offender, your victim, your friend, your spouse or your maker, you got to get it out on the table and clear the air.
Take back what you’ve lost or given away.
It’s time to live YOUR life…
Next Week: You’ve got an idea about “why” you are the way you are. Let’s get down to “Who” you are…
~Uppie
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